Michael

I know I couldn't let this time pass without saying anything at all about Michael Jackson. He was my fiance. He didn't know it though... and I was maybe 6 or so when I decided that he was...perhaps if there was e-mail or if I could figure out someway to get the news to him from Jamaica to wherever in the world he lived at that time he would know.

Anyhow, it didn't work out and we broke up... but I kept him in the back there somewhere. You know that place where you keep your old loves. He was there.

I saw news articles and accusations about him later on in life, I didn't know if it was true or not, but I had moved on. I was now in a short-lived relationship with Bobby... Bobby Brown that is.

Almost two weeks ago I was sitting right here in front of my make-shift desk in my room in front of the computer and watching tv... trying to figure out if it was true or not what TMZ was saying... how could TMZ say that Michael died? I refused to acknowledge it... that is until a more reputable CNN could confirm it. An hour or so later, while watching and partaking in facebook bicker about whether it was true or not, CNN confirmed the worst.

Sure I was saddened, I was nowhere near distraught though. Distraught wasn't even in my time zone. I gathered all the MJ music I could find. I watched the Interview again, yes the one with Martin Bashir. I got sadder, because I started to see his life for what it was... sad and lonely. Then today was the Memorial Service.

I made it through Smokey Robinson reading the notes from Diana Ross and Nelson Mandela. Mariah didn't sway me one bit. But Brooke got me. Brooke's career wasn't launched off anything that Michael Jackson did... she didn't sing, she didn't dance and she was acting before he started. She simply spoke about her friend Michael and how she was able to joke with him. Tears ran down my face.

Then his brother Marlon started speaking about his brother...they flowed harder...Paris spoke of her Daddy... and the tears continued.

I kept saying all along that the Michael we knew and loved died a long time ago. However, for these people... he was their friend, father, son and brother. It touched home. He was never able to live a normal life with them. Even Magic Johnson was surprised that Michael Jackson ate KFC. He certainly couldn't just drive up to one and order food from one. Can you imagine living your life with EVERYONE watching you, and pointing, and fainting, and screaming, and crying... EVERYTIME YOU WENT OUTSIDE! Can you imagine having a father profit from you, but constantly putting you down, beating you and calling you names? As soon as he could he changed his nose, I gather because his father's nick name for him was "Big Nose". But still he was creative and continued to create music for the whole world. He inspired a whole generation of artists and musicians. As Berry Gordy said.."he was the greatest entertainer that ever lived!"

Also featured at his Memorial Service was this talented young lady Judith Hill. She was the half Asian singer who lead "We Are the World" and "Heal the World". Check her out here.