Old friends and Newfound sexuality.

Thanks to the various social networks I have been reconnecting with lots of old friends. I enjoy that, for the most part. In reconnecting I'm noticing that there has been changes. Yes, some people have gone the family way, weight gain, weight loss, brunettes are now blondes and vice versa.

However, I have two friends in particular that whether they knew it or not, I've always known that they were gay. It seems now that they've caught on. In conversations though they will still refer to a girlfriend or something to that effect. But on their various profiles, it's clear that there is a strong gay presence. For instance, one of the two has 102 friends. Including me, there are about 3 or 4 girls out of the lot... the other 90 odd guys are somehow living on an island or in a country where shirts are not permitted and so their default pictures are quite provocative. Now that alone is not confirmation of ones sexuality, but it does give one reason to pause.


Unfortunately, I understand the reasoning for the guise. Not everyone is ready to have a gay friend. Or rather to admit to it. Especially in Jamaica. My hope is that one day people will feel free to accept themselves for who they are without fear... regardless of their sexuality and be able to admit it... also without fear of retribution.

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"Dear Friend Inez!"

I will always remember Dear Friend Inez. No she wasn't MY friend. In fact she wasn't a friend at all.

My grandmother's friend's husband had died. The family went through their normal grieving and in planning the funeral, they put in an obituary in the local papers. From wife, daughter, son, brothers, sisters, grandchildren, and friends.

On the same page further down there was a similar obituary for the same man. Only thing is that this time it came from "Dear Friend Inez". Dear Friend being the euphemism for Mistress. I remember the rage my grandmother felt over the disrespect that Inez had shown by making her position public, especially during this time of great mourning. It was suspected that Inez and the man were a little more than friendly, but this confirmed suspicions. Since then, it had become interesting to note the various "dear friends" in the obituaries.

Today now, I'm getting the daily update from my mother over my Uncle Pat who died this weekend. The obituary was printed in the local papers today. So I ask her jokingly if there are any "Dear Friend Inezes"... after I explain to her how come I call it Dear Friend Inez. Imagine my utter shock when she says that when my father died there was a "Dear Friend Antonette" printed in the papers alongside her obituary. Amazing!

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Death in the Family...

Last week my mother called to say that my uncle met in a car accident. She said it very "matter-a-factly". I asked about him after and was told he was in the hospital. Didn't think much of it...2 days later.. he's dead! Just like that. From the sound of things his death could have been avoided with proper healthcare... this is the startling reminder that in spite of all the fancy cars and giant houses (seriously), Jamaica still is a third world country. Anyhow, maybe because I'm not there in the moment... I'm able to accept that it is what it is. Don't get me wrong... this uncle is one of four brothers.. and if anything, I consider myself to be closest to him.

During the second half of my high school years, he lived right next door to me and so he took me to school every morning. He waited on me, while I dragged my lazy behind out of bed and got ready for school. In the mornings, we would sometimes detour in the total opposite direction while I tried to sneak glances at my watch to see if we could make it in time. Most of the time we did.

He was always very approachable. His business ensured that he spoke to people from all walks of life... and they all were comfortable talking to him. Too comfortable in fact, and he has the children to prove it. So of course, in true small island fashion, where there is death there is drama. Unfortunately, I'm not there to experience it first hand. I get the daily updates from Mommy. But in the meantime.. I will miss you greatly Uncle Pat!

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Childbirth

.. is soo not easy. At least from where I am sitting. Yet, some people push out babies allll the time, as if it's nothing. Even worse, after going through the entire 9 months (10 really) they discard the child as if he or she is a piece of garbage. I don't understand that part.. seriously. Lets review.

The mother goes through the entire pregnancy... swollen feet, morning sickness, cravings, uncomfortable nights, sleepless nights, nausea. Plus all the physical changes that goes along with... well, someone growing inside of you... and then after the labor process... they tie the baby up in a garbage bag and leave the baby on the side of the road/dumpster/abandoned alley way. You name it. I don't get it. Seriously.

If you carry a baby to full term and decide that you CANNOT take care of the baby. There are options. Many, in fact.

Then there is the other side of the coin. Women out there who want nothing more than to be the mother of a child and yet they are unable to conceive. They go through great lengths to have a baby. Even all these celebs out there having twins. Yet there is no history of twins in their family. Fertility drugs have come a long way. But they don't work for everybody. Clearly.

Last week, I had the honor of being at the hospital while a friend gave birth. Not my favorite thing to do, but in this instance, it seemed to have been the right thing to do. After seeing the whole process, I am amazed at the Casey Anthonys of this world.

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Now is not the time!

Today I was watching The View, and usually it's Elisabeth Hasselbeck that annoys me most. I don't think I was annoyed as much, but it was something that Barbara Walters said that stood out to me more. In light of the historical inauguration of President Elect Barack Obama tomorrow, the show featured a variety of snippets from Barbara's past interviews with Presidents of The United States. They stayed a little on President Nixon and his huge scandal and subsequent pardon. The other ladies spoke about a movie being done and who would Barbara want to play her. Someone threw out Meryl Streep as a contender. Whoopi Goldberg in jest said that she would play Barbara. Barbara said that in light of what was happening now and that people were becoming color-blind she would want Whoopi to play her in the fictitious movie. I was dumbstruck. Not because she wanted Whoopi to play her, but because I thought... of all the times to be color-blind... why now?

Whenever there is a crime committed...liquor stores, shop-lifting, petty theft... it's usually Black related... there are exceptions. However, when there is "white-collar" crime, as the name suggests... people tend to think White people are involved. Here we are on the eve of a Black man finally becoming President of the United States and it's because the country is becoming color-blind. Huh? Of all times now is when I wish they will see color. The fact that a Black man will become president. The fact that a Black man has brought hope to America. Have you seen the amount of people travelling to DC to see the moment, to revel in the victory of the people? I don't recall this happening when Bush won, or even Clinton for that matter. TV stations have caught on and have blocked out the entire day to broadcast the inauguration. People are having gatherings in their homes to celebrate. I wasn't invited to a Bush barbecue 4 or even 8 years ago.

Now is not the time to be color-blind. Now is the time to be wide eyed and bushy tailed and see that anyone, REGARDLESS of their color... can make a difference... but lets not be color blind about it. Not now!

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Lost...

Lost without you, can't help myself... how does it feel?

TERRIBLE!!!

Two weeks ago, I started having trouble connecting to our wireless router. Kept having to restart the modem, the router and eventually rebooting the laptop. OVER.AND.OVER.AGAIN!!!!!! Then other things started failing. So I was convinced it was that damned Linksys router!! In the process of buying a new router. And still having to reboot and reboot.. I noticed that the adapter light on the laptop kept saying it was off, instead of on... device manager deemed the wireless adapter nonexistent. Huh? After downloading and reinstalling... It would work for a while. Then, Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

Went online, yet again, to try and troubleshoot... and found... that while there was not an actual recall... HP had issued a limited extended warranty to certain laptops with certain model numbers. BINGO!!! I won! But what did I win? My laptop won an all expense paid 7-9 business day trip to the HP service center! Wooo-hooooo.. NOT!

The good news is that it's being taken care of and I did not end up with a 7 pound paper weight. The very bad news is that I have had to go back to sharing the desktop with the husband. Sooo not good.

However, in looking at the bright side (cause you know I'm all about the bright side) I've discovered some hidden hours in my day. I've been able to finish a book I started 2 weeks ago, in one day. I've been able to fold laundry, watch most of my shows on DVR... and started half way through Season 5 of The L-Word (while my husband asks if I'm turning into a "lesbian or something" his words.. not mine). I so should have gone Sue's route and stuck to gay movies... not lesbian series. Ah well, too late now... cause yes I wanna know Who Killed Jenny??

So yes... I'm missing the laptop greatly... but the only postcard I want from it is: I'm coming home today!!!

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Superstitious?

While I don't consider myself superstitious, I think some superstitious habits were ingrained in me during the course of my upbringing. I don't walk under ladders. I don't open umbrellas indoors. I try my damn near best never to break a mirror. That sort of thing. It was only within the last few years that my husband and I found that the 13th day of the month had been particularly "lucky" for us in some areas and so we started looking forward to the 13th, instead of dreading it.

So this morning at 4:30a.m. on my way home driving through a less desirable neighborhood, I was forced to ponder this question: If a black cat attempts to cross your path and you kill the cat before the cross is complete... is that still bad luck?

Ahmm, just asking.

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Happy New Year!

May this truly be a year of change.

So the economy has basically crashed and burned along with a lot of people's credit. Still life must go on. I'm not sure how though, but somehow things have a way of working themselves out, one way or another.

I have also been finding ways to be true to myself. There of course will be more on this throughout the year.

My biggest obstacle to date has been procrastinating. Will be trying harder to deal with these issues.

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