More specifically other friend's children and discipline... or lack thereof.
This is such a touchy subject for me, because of course I do not have children and so by some people's standards I am not qualified to comment or have an opinion until I walk in their shoes. That's all fine and great, I understand. However, I do have an opinion on the matter.
I understand that some children are rude. Plain and simple. There is no amount of punishment, discipline, bribery or candy that will change that. They will do what they want to do, when they want and laugh at the consequences (if there are any). Thank God I'm not around such children. I have seen them though. So I know that they exist.
These children in particular are not outright rude per se. I think that they are bored and so they just create activity to entertain themselves. The problem I think is that they do not listen to their mother. Their father however will give one warning in the morning and it will carry out all day into the evening. Mother, not so much as five minutes and they are acting up again. I know they are terrified of their father, but not in a sense that they don't interact with him, or have fun with him. They love their father and show him tremendous respect. They just follow his instruction to the letter because "Daddy means business". They've said so.
When I'm around them, I try to reason with them to see why they are not listening. Remember they are not mine, so I don't have to be patient with them 24 hours a day... so the two or so hours that I'm with them... I can be patient.
This week I was able to witness firsthand where part of the problem lies. They were acting up again. After hearing their mother scream for the umpteenth time... the father intervened and asked them to come in the room where we all were and had one sit at one end and the other one sit at the other end and be quiet. They came quickly and sat down. Quiet. After some minutes they started to fidget... the father spoke again... fidgetting stopped. Then something funny happened in the room. One of the children was struggling to hold it together, their mother pointed it out that he was trying not to laugh and started laughing at him. HUH? Shortly after, the father left the room for a few minutes and it was as though someone freed them from punishment, even though their mother was still there. So I asked them if the punishment was over, they acted unsure... but their mother didn't say anything to enforce the punishment so they all got up and started playing again. Luckily I had to be somewhere so I left.
I was truly annoyed. I realized that the children do not take their mother seriously because the punishment is not consistent between both parents. They are not both on the same page when it comes to disciplining the children. The father is more direct. They know what they are doing is wrong so he says stop and that is it. With the mother there is more reasoning for it to be fair for everyone... which ends up in more debate, more bickering... until she gives in.
I strongly believe that children need discipline. They also need for you to follow through on promises... good ones and bad ones. If the punishment is just, then there should be no debate.
My question now is... as the friend of the parents... do I continue to bite up my jaw corner and continue to witness the disrespect? Is there ever a right time to point out this mistake.... even though she sometimes ask why her children don't listen to her. I usually shrug it off. Does she really want to know? Is it my place to tell her?
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